June 12, 2017

Sex in Marriage

I keep trying to skip over this part in my head. It would be a lot faster and easier to go straight to the topic of sex without having to get into the importance of marriage.
Let’s think about that for a second.
{Skip right over marriage and dive right into sex.}
That’s why I have to start here. Isn’t that exactly what the world is trying to do? If we really want to learn all that sex is, we need to start with marriage.
Sex was created for marriage. It was created to support, enhance and reflect the meaning of marriage.

Why marriage?
Several years ago, I was on a plane ride home from Washington D.C. when I learned a life-changing lesson from the Lord about covenants. If I were to go into all I have learned about the topic, this whole sex thing would be stretched way further than I want to go, and I might lose your attention before I even gain it, but if you’re interested, I urge you to study biblical covenants. It may give you an astounding revelation of your commitment to your spouse and children. It has been foundational for me.

Bottom line is this: When God makes covenants (promises), they’re life or death. There is no backing out of it. This should be said about us all. I think we fall short of this so often and easily. Our word should be our bond. Is it?

Marriage is a covenant. It’s a promise that God witnesses-you could say it's a promise to God, Himself, and most definitely to each other that this person you’re taking to be yours, is yours forever. In sickness and health. In trials and triumph. Even when your spouse loses their job. Even when you can’t conceive a child together. Even when they fail to defend you against their family members’ harsh words, or when your teenager starts failing school or taking drugs. Even when the house won’t sell or they become paralyzed. A covenant is a covenant. To God, there’s very few stipulations to nullify a covenant, if any. I believe if we lived by these standards, we’d see a very different world.
The start and end date of a covenant marriage is just a small detail of that covenant. What are you promising to do? I hope you know, it’s not just living together and splitting the bills and chores!

Matthew 19:4-6 And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female,
And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?
Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

Upon the day of your testimony before God, the two of you shall become one. One person to God. Where he is weak, you bring strength. You become your spouse’s right leg, or left arm, and he/she becomes yours. You just happen to live in two separate bodies. If you have a hard time preferring your spouse over yourself, I encourage you to retrain your mind and reorganize your lives to reflect your oneness. When Tomas is lifted up, I feel lifted up. I’m right there with him! When he gets a raise, I get a raise. We share a bank account! If I say something dishonoring about him, guess who that also dishonors: me. We are one on the inside. Our lives are shared. When one of us succeeds, we both do. That is what marriage is about.

That brings us to sex. Sex was never designed just to be sex. It was designed as a physical representation and reminder of the oneness that took place on your wedding day. This is why sex is something that’s not to be shared with people who have not made that commitment before God. Marriage is sacred. When you read about a couple having sex in the bible, it reads, “He knew her.” Tomas knows me. Not just physically, although.. I mean, physically, he knows me well, but he knows me emotionally and intimately and he goes there in bed. I let him go there. I have no business letting anyone else go there.

1 Corinthians 7:2-5 But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband.3 The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. 5 Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

I’m going to end here, because there’s so much to say about this scripture and it’s what I want to get into in the next post. If Tomas were hearing this scripture, he’d be shouting “HOORAH! DON’T DEPRIVE ME, WOMAN!” But what I wanted to point out is, my body; my whole being on an intimate level is his to know, and his only. I belong to him.

I don’t have to tell you what sex does for you on a physical level, but this is what it says: “I love you. You love me. We are one and we’re in this together, forever.”
We need this reminder. God knows we need to come together as a couple to remember why we are sharing a bed together in the first place, especially after a stressful day of errands and late appointments or, brace yourself, even more-so after a disagreement!

Don’t let me fool you. I’m preaching to myself.
Guys, I’m in so much trouble. Just wait until my husband reads this.
Til next time,


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